“I don’t want to bother you.”
“I am sure that you are tired of hearing it.”
“My story is too long and it’s too much to explain.”
These are all thoughts that people have when they are asked how they are doing and say they are “fine.” In my last blog post titled, “Not Everyone Is Fine During The Quarantine”, I wrote about the research that was conducted regarding Covid-19.
Since that last article, the nation has been facing political unrest and division. Not everyone is fine. So again, I am asking, why is everyone saying they are fine? I am concerned about so many things right now. One of my concerns is how folks in relationships are handling things.
I have been thinking about the impending consequences of the disaster we are experiencing. Whether we like to think about it or not, the aftermath of the pandemic is going to be momentous.
I saw the statistics in places that were hit before Covid-19 appeared locally, and their divorce rates are at a record high. People who were avoiding dealing with their relationship issues got pushed too far.
It’s like going on a vacation with someone you don’t really like. By the time you get back, you cannot stand the person and you can’t wait to get home, and then you don’t talk again or wait a few weeks or months. Except this is the person you live with, have children together, or at least have a lot of ties together.
So why do couples wait to seek couple counseling? And what is going to happen to their relationship?
Couples wait an average of 6 years to seek help for their relationship issue. That’s a long wait, but what if they don’t make it 6 years? My guess is that the quarantine is like a pressure cooker.
Think about this for a minute: the average couple waits 6 years to get counseling help and many don’t even last 6 years. What will happen if we increase the pain?
We use a pressure cooker to make our food faster. Thanks to pressure, it cooks food in an estimated third of the usual cooking time. A struggling relationship, under normal circumstances, might be able to withstand the heat of waiting, but add in this current disaster and the consequences are sure to add much more. It’s a giant pressure cooker!
Couples often wait because they hope their relationship will get better on its own. They hope that their partner will arise from their hurtful behavior and see the error of their ways. The problem is that neither you nor your partner can see how this whole painful process started.
While you are waiting, more resentments are being collected, requiring more time spent healing from past hurts.
I can imagine that many people don’t think that someone else could help. Lord knows they have tried really hard on their own. I get that.
One thing I would remind you of is that therapy is something different, something you may not have tried yet. The couples therapy experience I offer is truly different from other relationship counseling experiences because it’s a relationship intensive that helps you get results quickly.
There is a famous saying: “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” — Henry Ford
I have been through hell and back in my own relationship and I really get the problem that most couples are facing. I can help you and your partner paint a picture of what you really want to create and then start taking steps to get there right way. If you want to make a powerful change in your relationship or marriage, do something that is really difficult. Look an angry partner or spouse in the eye and tell them you want to make a change.
Why don’t you reach out and get a guide, someone who can help you find out where you got lost and give you a road map? Don’t wait a moment longer. Get the therapy help you deserve. Click here to schedule with me. I even offer telehealth couples therapy or counseling online. Let’s create the relationship that offers the mutual support and understanding you are looking for.